Fiona and Michaela Havlish

By Barry Murphy, originally written in 2004, published for the first time for the 20th Anniversary of 9/11

My friendship with the Havlish family – Fiona, Don and their beautiful 7-year-old daughter Michaela – began in the fall of 1999, when my plumbing company received a call to repair a leak in their home.I was greeted at the door by Fiona and her then 3-year-old daughter Michaela, who was hiding behind her mother’s legs, shyly peeking her head out at the stranger on her doorstep. Her beautiful dark eyes looked up through strands of her fair hair as she tried to decipher in her little mind if I was friend or foe. She must have decided I was a friend, for I wasn’t working five minutes under the bathroom sink before I heard the tiny patter of footsteps enter the bathroom. As I lay on my back peering out from under the vanity, I saw Michaela’s angelic face shyly smiling at me as she held one of my tools in her hand. In a soft inquisitive voice she asked,“Can I help you Mister?” How could I say no to such an offer? Needless to say, I was smitten. Michaela sat next to me on the bathroom floor in her little red one-piece pajamas, with her uncombed scraggly hair nestled on her shoulder. I was having so much fun getting to know my new helper that I lost track of time, but I did assure Fiona that she would not be paying extra for my bonding time with her daughter. A connection was made, and ensuing service calls became opportunities to chat and develop a more personal relationship.

I learned that Michaela actually shares the same birthday as I do in October. I knew there was something special about her, but little did I know then, just how special this little girl really was.

The time came for bigger projects to be done, and this was when I first met with Fiona’s husband, Don. Don was a very friendly man, about my height and like Fiona, was a smoker. We discussed business and kept everything very formal that first visit, except for the silently snuggling Michaela who wouldn’t leave Don’s arms the whole time we spoke. I came to learn that both Fiona and Don had been married before. Fiona had two children from her first marriage, but Don never had any kids. His ambitious career goals took precedence in his previous marriage, but this time around things would be different for them both. They were viewed as the perfect couple, and certainly acted that way. They understood how important each others’ careers were, and Don welcomed Fiona’s children with open arms. They both also understood that at ages 47 and 37 respectively, there would most likely be no more children on the horizon. So on August 9, 1993, on a beautiful pink sand beach in Bermuda, Mr. and Mrs. Donald Havlish kissed for the first time as husband and wife.The newlyweds moved into Don’s recently purchased dream home in Yardley, PA. It is a sprawling two-story house with a back yard that offers a picturesque view of the Delaware canal. Don built a two-tiered deck surrounding the rear of his house, and installed a pathway through the woods down to the canal. Overlooking the peaceful, motionless waters, he installed a bench, where he and Fiona would spend many evenings savoring the tranquil serenity that nature provided them. This was a sharp contrast to the hustling professional life Don was living in the concrete jungle of the New York City.

It was by these peaceful waters some four years later, that the now 40-year-old Fiona excitedly informed Don of her pregnancy. He was overwhelmed at the prospect of being a father to his own child. It was also that same spring when Don first saw what became his favorite bird, a beautiful elegant blue heron, which has become a very symbolic bird to the Havlish family. As Don sat by the canal imagining what his new role as a father might be like, he heard the “swooshing” sound of the majestic blue heron preparing itself to land. Just as a stork is said to appear carrying a newborn, Don associated the blue heron with the arrival of his new“miracle” child.

Michaela was born on October 17th, 1997. This fragile little child would define how Don would now choose to prioritize his life. Here was a corporate Vice President who, at the age of 50, recognized that there was a more important career beckoning him at home, that of fatherhood. He began to arrive home earlier than he had ever in the past so that he could spend some waking hours with his little miracle. His dedication to his fatherly duties is something I can only aspire to shouldI become a father one day.

Life was seemingly perfect for the Havlish family. Michaela was blossoming into an adorable little girl. Don timed the coming and going of the seasons with the appearance of his new friend, the elegant blue heron. It wasn’t long before Michaela was ready for preschool, and when her first day finally arrived, she got up extra early to give her daddy a big hug before he left for work. Fiona held her to the front window to wave goodbye as Don backed out of the driveway. He promised Michaela that he would leave work early that day so that she could tell him all about her first day at school.

Sadly though,Michaela never got to share those stories with her Daddy. At 9:03 a.m. on that clear September morn, the whole world watched as United Air Flight 175 penetrated the southern tower of the World Trade Center. Don Havlish worked for AON Insurance Company on the 101st floor of this building. When the first plane had hit the north tower some 15 minutes prior, Don tried unsuccessfully to contact Fiona on her cell phone. He then called home instead and left these words on their answering machine: “Something happened to the North Tower Fiona, but it’s not my tower. I’m OK. We think it was hit by a plane. I’ll call you later on your cell. I love you.”

Fiona rushed home after receiving a call from Don’s parents that a plane had hit one of the towers.The chaotic nightmare Fiona began to watch on television was uninvitedly infiltrating her peaceful, loving family. As she sat glued to the television, her telephones rang constantly. She answered every call in anticipation of hearing Don’s voice telling her he was coming home. As the agonizing minutes ticked painfully by to 10:05 a.m., Fiona watched in disbelief as her husband’s tower crumbled to the ground in a cloud of dust. I have no way of describing to you how Fiona felt at that moment, as even now today, she cannot put it into words either. The first day of what would be her new courageous life without Don had just begun. It started with numerous trips to ground zero with family members to help search the scene and New York hospitals for any information related to Don. They posted Don’s photograph at Ground Zero and the surrounding area. There were many sleepless nights of hoping, anticipating and yearning for Don to reach out… but nothing. When Fiona had to gather some of Don’s personal effects and take Michaela to give a saliva sample to the authorities for DNA sampling, the reality that Don may never be found began to sink in.

A memorial service was held for Don some two weeks later. For the next 12 months, Fiona’s life became a crusade to make sure her loved one was not forgotten. The strength she displayed when being interviewed for television, and speaking with the media, was incredible. This once quiet, private woman was suddenly a reluctant public figure. Meeting the President, speaking out against terrorism, and helping raise funds for future memorial sites for local victims. Her amazing resolve throughout that first year was truly inspiring.

9/11: A Year Later

The first anniversary of 9/11 was the defining moment when Fiona was finally able to begin celebrating Don’s life, instead of mourning his death. As she sat on Ground Zero that day, she gathered some rocks into a mound and through her tear stained eyes, she placed some flowers, a photograph of Don and a letter she had written to him. She took a candle and lit it, placing it onto the makeshift memorial next to Don’s photograph. After a few personal moments of silence, Fiona sat back and looked up to the sky where the twin Towers once reigned supreme. She smiled to herself as she lit a symbolic cigarette for Don, remembering how she had always teased him about traveling 101 floors just to light one up. At that moment a gust of wind came billowing through Ground Zero and blew out her candle. Fiona got a chill and suddenly felt Don’s presence appear with the wind--like a Guardian Angel. She recalls the feeling that he was trying to pick her up and tell her he was okay, and it was time to move on with her life and get back to taking care of the children. Fiona did just that. She had been truthful with Michaela from day one. She told her that she didn’t know where Daddy was, but that he had been in a big accident at work and may not be coming home. A few days after9/11, she told Michaela that Daddy had to go to heaven, but that he was now her Guardian angel and would always be there to take care of her forever.

A Jigsaw Puzzle

Fiona also sought refuge in therapy and has now found a new sense of spiritual awareness that she never had before. She has moved on the best she can. Don will live forever, not only in the annals of American history, but also in Fiona’s heart. She has decided to remain in the house they shared together, but is currently remodeling it to her tastes.This piece of hallowed ground

was Don’s dream, and is now her personal memorial site to him. As she wanders down to the canal and sits alone on their bench, she feels safe knowing that she is surrounded by Don’s presence. She notices his blue heron more frequently now, almost as if it is watching over her since Don’s passing. Across the canal, Fiona watches as people sometimes sit and rest on a new plantation teak bench that faces her home. This bench is one of seventeen benches that can be found along the Delaware canal to memorialize the seventeen BucksCounty victims of 9/11. Don’s commemorative bench is the one that actually sits facing his property, where others can now sit and admire the view as he once had. As I sat with Fiona and Michaela to prepare for this interview, it didn’t take long for me to realize how far they have come in their healing process, both spiritually, and mentally. Michaela, who is now seven, was busy assembling a jigsaw puzzle when I first arrived. I sat with her to help finish it before I interviewed Fiona. As we worked together once again (ironically me being her helper this time around) Michaela told me in her soft gentle voice that the last time she built this jigsaw puzzle was with her Daddy. I was speechless as she talked with great ease and openness about her father. She was obviously very comfortable around me, as she climbed on my shoulders, shared French fries with me, and then curled cozily on the sofa with her head nestled on my lap as I began to interview her mom. Fiona informed me that the jigsaw puzzle was put away in a box for safe keeping, along with other memories of Don, so that Michaela can appreciate them when she gets older. Fiona had pulled the box out to share with me that night, and she told me there was a recording of Don’s last phone message in there for Michaela too. I asked Michaela what she remembered about her Daddy, and without hesitation she whispered; “I remember hearing Daddy’s keys in the door, and I would always run to the door and give him a big hug when he came home from work, because I missed him.” That was twice in one night this little girl had rendered me speechless. I then asked Fiona about Michaela’s progress and she told me that she had gone through some difficult stages in the past few years. It began with “Bad guys killed my Daddy on 9/11” and progressed to “My Daddy is a Hero!”Today, Michaela has begun to draw tall buildings with an airplane crashing into them. Therapy and spiritual guidance have definitely helped this family get through unfathomable pain, and Fiona now dedicates her life to helping Michaela get through and understand this whole ordeal, and to remember her loving father.This child bears an uncanny resemblance to her Daddy too, and carries many of his characteristics in her personality. Fiona sees Don every day through Michaela’s eyes and now understands why he referred to her as their miracle child.

As for Fiona herself, she has worked very hard to get to where she is today. She has taught me that no matter what ill-fated cards life deals me, I have the ability within to survive it, and become a much stronger person for having experienced it. She has quit smoking and spends her time remodeling the house and tending to Michaela’s needs. Her two older children are out of the house, but have a newfound appreciation for the little things in life. Fiona has also kept a journal chronicling he post-9/11 life. As our interview ended, I asked her if she had any parting words to share.

“Live more for today. Your families and friendships are life’s greatest gifts. Treasure them, for you’ll never know when they’ll be taken away from you. Try to slow down and take time to smell the roses, and appreciate every moment you have with your loved ones.”

Fiona walked me to the door, and I thanked her for opening up and allowing me the honor of commemorating Don and her family. She actually thanked ME, for giving HER, the opportunity to talk about Don again. I now felt that I had become a small part of her healing process. As we walked by Michaela’s bedroom, we peeked in through the glass bedroom door to see her sleeping peacefully in bed, with the newly completed jigsaw puzzle spread across the floor next to her. Fiona turned to me and whispered; “ It’s really eerie Barry. She even sleeps like Don used to. I find her in the most contorted positions when I come to tuck her in, which is exactly the way Don used to sleep.”

I smiled as I said thank you and goodnight to Fiona. As I drove home, I felt very somber as I thought about my evening with the Havlishes. I found myself thinking about young Michaela and how she had left me stuck for words earlier. As I struggled to control my emotions, I turned to God and said a prayer for them. It was at this precise moment that everything suddenly became clearer to me. A chill went through my body the more I thought about it.

I too now believe that Fiona was absolutely right when she said there was an Angel

watching over this family…..and that Angel was sleeping snugly right in front of us, next to her jigsaw puzzle.

Update for 9/11/21: Fiona is now an engaging inspirational speaker and success coach whose stories entertain and inspire those going through drastic life transitions. Her book, In Full Voice - Shedding the Labels That Silenced Me, available on Amazon, is about one woman's triumphant journey through trauma, loss, grief, illness (and even a flood) that led her to find her own voice, so that she can help others uncover and share their own gifts with the world. Michaela got married in July to a wonderful man in Germany, her home. She also just started university.

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